it wasn’t your burden

monotonxus:

Life away from the palace served just as boring, if not more so, than she’d ever believed. Which was precisely why she rejected her aunt’s offer the first time it was made. Since then, however, things had changed.

             Back then, Mai had been in a relatively happy - give or take some arguments, but that was normal - happy relationship with the young man now reigning as Fire Lord. Back then, the thought of leaving his side was so outrageous she could have uncharacteristically burst out in a fit of laughter.

And there she was, inhabiting a new town in the Fire Nation just so she wouldn’t have to see him or any places that reminded her of him.

              The last time she’d seen Zuko hadn’t at all gone well, which was exactly why she’d left. He’d been keeping secrets from her, keeping her out of the loop even after they’d established that was not the behavior one had when they were in a relationship with someone. They talked about. He’d agreed she had a point. Yet he still kept her in the dark.

           ❝ … You love your secrets more. You’ll have an easier time keeping them when you’re alone. Goodbye, Fire Lord.”

Those had been her last words to him. She hadn’t stopped to hear him out, to hear whatever excuse he had on hand to spout at her. She didn’t care, she hadn’t wanted to know or have a reason to stop herself from walking away because she felt this lesson was far too important for her to just dismiss. So even when Zuko called out to her, she bowed and exited so coldly and formerly, just to prove how very serious she was about the matter.

                  An entire year had passed since then, and sometimes her last words as well as the hazy sound of his demands she come back replayed when she laid awake at night. She didn’t want to think about Zuko, because whenever she did, she felt a pain in her chest. Mai had loved him, very deeply and very passionately - and, if she was being completely honest, she still did.

And that was why she needed to be away from him, and why she’d even agreed to a date with Kei Lo in the first place (and, oh, didn’t that turn out swell?). It was all to distract herself from missing him, and a means of attempting to move on. An entire year without him…

              But the past always did have a way of catching up to people…

Mai had been facing a wall when the sound of someone entering caught her attention, but she hadn’t turned right away. A heavy sigh suspired as she set down her gardening scissors then readjusted her dress, assuming the intruder was a customer.

When she turned only to catch Zuko standing there, like a mirage or a memory she wasn’t sure would vanish or not if she reached out, her bored expression was highlighted to arched brows and wide eyes - surprise, and mild confusion. But then everything seemed to flood back, like reality had knocked her down, and her brows furrowed while the corners of her lips downturned.

          ❝ Can I help you?”

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            Her tone isn’t particularly venomous, but something she knew would be much more hurtful towards him - indifferent. As if she couldn’t care less that he’d come all this way to see her. As if he was just another face passing through.

Cold indifference. Something years of practice made her very good at portraying.

Just because there was distance separating them again didn’t mean Zuko didn’t keep tabs on her pretty regularly, getting information on what she was doing with herself, where she was living, and obviously if she was safe. Hate him or not, he’d still do whatever it took if a worst case scenario happened and she was in danger again.

She knew he’d drop everything just to make sure she was safe. It wouldn’t be the first time he’d done that.

Their last encounter played through his mind regularly, despite the fact that it wasn’t the first time their relationship had crumbled and fallen by the wayside, this was the longest that they’d been apart before after a relationship had happened to begin with. Definitely the longest Mai’s conviction to stay away from Zuko at all costs had remained strong and finite. If she’d wanted to come back to the palace and see him again, she would have and they both knew it.

Or perhaps she couldn’t bring herself to either.

In any case, that was another reason why he was here, because of how short-lived their previous conversation had been. She’d had every right to walk away from him, but walking away so quickly before Zuko could get a word in edgewise was the cruelest part of it all.

As was the subliminally icy tone to her voice right now.

She had no idea, or rather she had every bit an idea how much that stung.

All it took was seeing her face again for emotions he hadn’t felt in a year since she walked out of his life, make them come back like a roaring fire he could create in his hands in seconds.

This wasn’t going to be easy, but then again Zuko didn’t think it was going to be.

Ignoring the sting that her monotonous tone of voice, the noir took a few more steps forward, maintaining eye contact for as long as she’d allow and hoping an idle knife or two didn’t get thrown his way.

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“I… came here to see you. I’ve missed you. . ” Obviously, way to go there Zuko. Glad to see that eye contact lasted longer than a few seconds.